Posted by: anxiouslyengaged | October 22, 2008

So…What’s She Like?

A little while ago, a friend I hadn’t seen in a while got engaged.  We started talking and then it just tumbled out:  “What’s she like?”  My friend said, “Well, she’s kinda like Barbie.”  I groaned.  I don’t know much about women but I know that most of them don’t like being compared to Barbie.  (You know women…them and their crazy ideas about being seen as a person.)

 

 When I was engaged, I hated that question.  What are you supposed to say?  Are you really supposed to sum up the woman who means everything to you in a couple short sentences?  It was like being asked to explain how to correctly perform open heart surgery in 150 words or less.  Usually, I would just mumble something about how beautiful my fiancée is and try to change the subject (that’s also what I do when I’m asked to describe open heart surgery).

 

This will happen to you, be sure of that.  There are plenty of people who haven’t seen you in a while and they all want to make awkward conversation.  Uncles, Aunts, roommates, former mission companions, even strangers off the street will come up to you and ask, “So, what’s she like?”  When that happens, what are you going to say?

 

First off, don’t say she’s “hot,”or “sexy,” and don’t say anything about her butt.   Grandma doesn’t need to know that she kisses like a mongoose (also, don’t say that she kisses like a mongoose. Mongeese aren’t good kissers, they bite.)

 

Avoid the word “nice.”  Sure, it’s a fine adjective.  It’s easy and inoffensive.  And that’s the problem, it’s bland and boring.  Don’t call the girl of your dreams a bowl of oatmeal.

 

Don’t go on too long.  When people ask “What’s she like?” they’re looking for you to say something for about 30 seconds and then they’ll say “Oh, she sounds nice,” or “I can’t wait to meet her.”

 

Remember you’re talking to your grandma, not the LAPD.  Don’t describe her like you’re putting out an APB (She’s 5’6″, medium length red hair, and she weighs about 135 lbs.)

 

So what should you say?  Saying something about what she does is always good.  Good ones are: “She’s the Relief Society president,” “She’s a nursing major,” or “She’s a geologist” (I recommend saying she’s a geologist because everyone knows that lady geologists are smart, interesting, and fantastically beautiful.)

 

Make sure that you say you think that she’s beautiful.  Say it at least twice.  Just be sure to use grown-up words to describe her beauty.  Use words like “beautiful,” “pretty,” “lovely,” or “geologist.”

 

Think of some of her other qualities.  Say that she’s “funny,” “kind,” “smart,” or  “generous.”

 

You may want to take some time and think up a good, short description of your lady and then write it on your hand so that you’ll always be ready.  You’ll be surprised how often people will ask you “What’s she like?” Just don’t forget to mention how beautiful she is.

 

 

 

written by aaron rowley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Responses

  1. You are hilarious! …And educational

    I love your writing!


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