Posted by: anxiouslyengaged | January 14, 2009

It Takes Two To Tango: Planning a Wedding

Planning a wedding 

If marriage is all about two people, why is it that so often only one person cares about the planning? Granted, we don’t generally hear men confess that since boyhood they have been dreaming of the tapestries that will drape the gift table, or the elaborate flower centerpieces that will be to die for. That doesn’t change the undeniable fact: the wedding day is for both of you to rejoice, celebrate, and commemorate. And that means both of you need to be integral members of the planning process.


A bride needs to be mindful of the groom’s preferences just as the groom needs to be mindful that he should actually (1) have preferences and (2) communicate those preferences. I am sure there are some totalitarian brides who disagree that the wedding is about both partners, but is that really the type of person you are marrying? Or are you marrying someone who wants the wedding day to make you just as happy as it makes her?


Wedding hall décor may not be your forte, and having to decide between chiffon and tulle may make you want to throw up. That’s totally understandable. But not all wedding planning is above and beyond your fields of expertise and interests. What about entertainment? Have an opinion on live bands, versus deejays, versus Uncle Bob serenading everyone? And you seriously have no preference between steak and tofu?


You have a preference. Even if it favors tofu, you have a preference. We all do.


The crazy thing about weddings is that there are literally hundreds of decisions to make when planning. Even though your bride knows you inside and out, planning an entire wedding can still present decisions that even the closest of couples may not be able to answer for one another.


Think of the things that are most important to you. Even if you haven’t been planning this since you were five, you can still come up with some ideas of what wedding possibilities would suit your style best. Your job is to communicate those preferences in an involved yet loving and compromising way. Talk with your bride and participate in the wedding planning process as much as you can. 


Yes, there are some decisions to make that you honestly don’t have an opinion on. But for the rest of the decisions–the decisions that affect you just as much as your beautiful bride–your input is vital in making the wedding day a success and your bride happy. Besides, do you really want to turn down free cake tasting?


by Elizabeth Harris



  1. When me and my wife became ingaged instead of doing the thing most to-be couples do (Plan the wedding) we Planed further instead. We didn’t do the wedding planning but the marrage planning. the wedding is a cermony that happens on one day and encombers the weeks leading up to it. but a marrage can be forever.

    So what kind of a wedding did we have?
    we ended up elopping after about a year long engagement. That was really because our parents wanted a wedding that we did not (more of a show than a rite)

    So what kind of marrage do we have?
    I think we have a good solid marrage even with it’s flaws, dings and all.

    good day and God bless,

  2. This is a GREAT post!!

  3. Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!

    Making Money $150 An Hour

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